Naraku's Explanation
by andreabennett2066
Summary: Naraku tries, but fails to explain his side of the reasons for a battle


Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. but would not mind owning Sesshoumaru.

Naraku's Explanation

Naraku: "Dammit I had everything planned. I was going to take over Japan, no wait the world. But then that baka hanyou and his stooges had to go and ruin it for me. It started fifty years ago when I used to be that baka Onigumo and ended up getting torched by that stupid bandit. I never planned on falling for Kikyo when she tended my burns and wounds.  
How was I know her sexy hands were soothing me."

Kikyo shoots an arrow at Naraku's ass and growls:" "BAKA HENTAI!!"

Naraku with a turned on look: "Ohhhh Kikyo shoot me again baby!!"

Kikyo: turns green and flips off Naraku.

Naraku: Anyway, I planned on making Kikyo my mate, until I found out she and Baka Inu were courting. Geez, what she saw in that hairball is beyond me."

Inuyasha: Up yours Naraku!!! Your tenticles look like moving piles of shit.

Naraku shoves a tenticle up Inu's ass which gives Inu an atomic wedgie. "I had it all figured out. Kikyo was going to kill Inuyasha, so that I would end up being her mate. How my jealousy ended killing my beloved Kikyo got in the way I will never know. *sad sigh*.

Inuyasha: "Shut it fuck face!! Kikyo was mine and still is!"

Kagome gives Inuyasha the evil eye, sends extra rosary beads to Kikyo and yells: "OSUWARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! As both Kikyo and Inuyasha are stuck in a crater.  
"NOW YOU AND CLAYPOT CAN F*CK YOUR WAY OUT OF THE CRATER FOR ALL I CARE!!!"

Naraku glares at Kagome and yells: "If you hadn't pulled that damn arrow out of that moron, I would have succeeded my plans!! But no you had to pull it and ruin it for me!" You even shattered the jewel that I planned to use you baka onna!"

Kagome: Shut it sushi legs or I will slice you to ribbons, use tensaiga to bring you to life and purify your ass to hell again."

Naraku gulps and continues his story: To make matters worse Sesshoumaru Sama, a.k.a Fluffy Ass betrays me

Sesshoumaru flexes and cracks his claws while growling: "This Sesshoumaru would have never allied with a filthy hanyou like you, so don't go there!" Sesshoumaru tattoos his name on Naraku's perfect ass.

Kagome lustily looks at Sesshoumaru and purrs: "MMMMMMMMMM Sesshy Baby I love it when you're rough." Sess gives his Kagome a lusty smile.

Inuyasha drops his mouth in shock and screams What the f**k!!!

Naraku screams: "CAN I FINISH MY F**KING STORY HERE??!!!

Sess and Inu group: "DRAMA QUEEN!!"

Naraku rolls his eyes and continues on: "I had even plotted to use that brat Kohaku and his hot ass sister as my assassins, but that plan got shut down too." I even planned to use the monk in my group with his wind tunnel,  
but pervert boy couldn't keep his hands off my butt."

Miroku: "Uhm asshole, whom grabbed whose butt? As much as I love grabbing butts, I would rather set my balls on fire than have to grab your butt." Miroku grabs Sango's butt.

Sango smacks both Miroku and Naraku with her boomerang and yells: "HENTAIS!!!!!"

Naraku revives himself and glares at them: "Like I was TRYING to finish *Naraku glares and looks back at them as the group whistles innocently while their horns are holding up their halos* I would have succeeded my plans and ruled the world, but instead you idiots had to ruin it for me. Plus my children Kanna, Hakudoshi and Kagura ended up betraying me too.

Kagura: "Well asshole if you had given me my heart back, I would have never betrayed you. Besides having a father that looks like a walking sushi bar is an embarrassment!"

Naraku going mental: "CAN YOU PEOPLE SHUT THE F**K UP?!!!! I'M TRYING TO TALK HERE AND YOU ALL ARE ANNOYING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!"

Pretty soon a nurse comes in with a huge needle and says:" Now, Now Mr Naraku calm down or I will have to sedate you.

Naraku glares at the nurse and growls: "Shut it bitch!"

Nurse: "Okay you asked for it!!!" Nurse shoves needle up Naraku's butt cheek and sedates him.

Naraku: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!"

Naraku never got to finish his story, but was last heard seen in a padded room mumbling about tiny inuyashas floating about the room.


End file.
